Indoor activities for Sherron include watching Hanna Montana and playing board games like Monopoly and Payday. Sherron likes to write in her journal and she looks forward to visits with her brothers. Sherron says that the best way to describe her is to say that she is “nice”. She admits that she likes to talk. Sherron’s favorite foods include pizza, broccoli, and even green peas! She also loves the color pink and country music.

And then there is the issue of dealing with the biological parents and watching them struggle as they attempt to change and get their kids back.  I am sure they probably say nasty things to the social workers…never mind that it was their own actions that landed them in the situation they are in.

Month after month the social workers go to court and fight for the child and the family to have a lifestyle that is safe and healthy for all involved while knowing that that may never happen.  And then comes the time to terminate the parent’s rights and explain to the children that they will never go back to the home from which they came because their parents couldn’t do it; they couldn’t straighten out.

Long days and nights are filled with paperwork and meetings; ads are placed in attempt to place the kids in a home that will love them and keep them safe forever.  A home that will provide them with warm meals and bed time stories and extracurricular activities and a love that is unending and reassuring and respectful of where they came from.

So can you imagine what it must be like to be a social worker?  To find an amazing home for these children who have traveled such a confusing path in life?  To rejoice as the parents make room in their homes and closets and hearts for these children that they will soon call their own?  And can you imagine what it must be like to receive Christmas cards with the newly adopted kids’ faces on it- their eyes sparkling with excitement, their smiles big and happy?

Sometimes I think of the social worker who changed my girls’ lives forever and think of how wonderful it must be for her to know the good she has done.  To understand the new future she has given not only to my children, but to countless children in the area she serves.  And when I think about it I come to a point of thankfulness- thankful to have been entrusted with these precious children and to be their Mommy forever.

OMG!  Yes, the rumors are true…my sweet little girl is in love.  In LOVE y’all.  I am so not ready for this.
Not only is she in love with one boy, but she is in love with TWO!  TWO!
And when you ask her about it she gets all giddy and buries her face in her hands while stamping her feet and giggling at a very shrill level.  It’s precious.

Now, I am not certain about what the experts have to say about boy-crazy preschoolers or how to parent them (and I am sure the “experts” have an opinion on the matter), but I think it is cute and just love to watch her reaction when I tease her about her “love life”.  And while I do tease her about it and laugh with her when she gets embarrassed, I also take advantage of the situation by taking a moment to listen to and teach my child about relationships.

I know, I know, it sounds crazy…why teach a 4 year old about relationships?  Well, because it’s important that she knows what healthy relationships look and feel like (see the more serious note below).  That’s why.  So I ask her things like “what do you like about AM and JP?” or “what do you and AM and JP talk about or like to play together?” You know…open ended questions that get her talking.

And do you know what her very first response was?

“I like him because he’s a nice boy, mom.  He’s a good, sweet boy….and I love him.”

Melt my heart!  To which I responded, “Well Momma only likes those nice boys!”

After I left her bedroom that evening I couldn’t help but smile to myself at how easily she loves others and how eager she is to talk to me about everything that is going on in her little life.  What makes me smile even more is the fact that, when she was in foster care, they thought she had an attachment problem; in fact, they told me she may never attach to me or others.  Well, I guess we showed them!!

“Well, Sweetie, I have one husband and that is really all I can handle.”

She wrinkled her nose and thought about it for a moment followed by, “Its okay mom, I’ll make them do their own laundry.”

I seriously had to laugh out loud!!  I mean, seriously, where does she come up with this stuff?!

And just minutes after this conversation took place the following thought really struck me: she is not only listening to every word I say, but she is watching me…and interpreting everything.  That’s scary!!

The more I think about it, I know that she watches me struggle to keep up with ever-growing mound of laundry and then hears me ask her Dad to help…and sees that he politely declines.  Not really a big deal…it’s pretty much  normal familial roles in many homes that I know.  But the scary thing is that she gets it.

Which makes me wonder…exactly how much of life does this sweet little girl, at the age of five, truly understand?

Maybe my kids, who have been adopted from rough infancies and childhoods, understand much more than I have given them credit for.  Through listening, watching and moving, my girls may have a much deeper understanding of life than they are capable of communicating at such young ages.

Of course these deep thoughts have made me thankful that I am in her life to provide love and stability; but they have also challenged me to constantly strive to be a good role model.  Yes, she is watching me and depending on me to teach her, through my words and actions, how to be a good mother, wife, daughter and friend.  I love how adoption brought us together and just hope that I am able to be the example that this sweet little girl needs.

When I look at pictures of the two of us I see a young couple, full of hopes and dreams, standing at the alter and vowing to always be our best for one another.  Our faces were fresh and beaming with pride, our clothes were carefully selected and perfectly steamed and pressed, and our colors even coordinated to ensure photographic perfection.  Little did we know that day that we would soon embark upon the most unexpected bur rewarding journey of our lifetime- adoption.

So I guess it is safe to say that, after adopting two kids from foster care, we no longer look like that couple in the wedding album.  Sure, we resemble them…but we certainly don’t look like them!  You know how it goes- add about ten pounds (okay, twenty, but no more!) to the couple, plus circles under the eyes and a random food (or something) stain on the shirt and you have the new couple in the album!  It’s funny how kids change everything.

But if you look closely at the new couple that has transformed through this marriage and this adoption journey, you will see two hearts who desire nothing more than for their children to love and be loved.  You will see a family that has meshed together despite all odds and has bonded in a way that no one can possibly explain.  You will see four hearts that have seen suffering and pain and that have worked together to overcome the fears and worries that have come along with it.  You will see a family…a family that is blessed beyond measure to be together.

Yes, yes, what a beautiful journey in deed.

“Now what is your last name and each girl’s last name?”  She asked with an attitude.

And when I passed her the girls’ Medicaid cards, her stare became even harder.

For a moment I allowed myself to feel intimidated.  I wasn’t born yesterday- I know she probably thought I had born these children out of wedlock and was now a single mother with no job other than filing for government assistance.  Never mind my wedding ring or the fact that my husband and I had been married for the past ten years or that we owned a successful business or that we had fought to call these kids “ours”.  Never mind the facts.

The receptionist’s stares grew harder as she passed me a clip board full of paperwork and eyed my kids across the room- both of differing races.

At that moment I knew I had a decision to make.  I could allow this lady to continue to look down on me and cause me and/or my kids to be uncomfortable each time we visited the doctor, or I could politely educate her about the wonderful and rewarding aspects of foster care and adoption.  So, after a quick moment of thought, I smiled at her and offered, “My children are miracles, you know.  They have blessed me with a love that I never knew before and probably would never have known had it not been for our decision to foster and adopt.”

The receptionist’s face softened as she looked up at me and smiled.  “I was adopted too,” she offered.

You know, when you foster or adopt, you get some strange looks and questions!  I mean, REALLY strange looks and questions.  But most of the time they stem from a simple lack of education about the foster care and adoption processes, and it’s okay to gently and politely offer information to those who may benefit from it.  Who knows, maybe they, too, will become interested in changing the lives of others!

Destiny will need caregivers who are very nurturing and patient.  Destiny will do best in a loving, stable, and secure environment. This sweet girl will add lots of love to her new family.